Jackie's Take: What's on My Mind in Women's Wellness ✍️ 🤔 📰 

Lately, I’ve been experiencing something I couldn’t quite name—a kind of aesthetic gaslighting that comes from trying to age gracefully while the beauty standards keep shifting. I wanted to explore this more deeply, so this week I’m consulting an expert—someone I adore and admire: my friend Sharalyn Orr, a beauty industry executive with the experience (and the passion) to decode exactly what’s happening in midlife aesthetics right now.

Sharalyn is a Millenni-old (born in 1980 right on the cusp of Millennial and Gen X), former journalist, turned demographer and marketer. Her day job is literally helping some of your favorite beauty brands better serve women over 45.

Over drinks recently, we got to talking about that Kris Jenner facelift photo—and how it's not just about one celebrity, but about the collective whiplash it triggers for women our age. It’s confusing, exhausting, and as Sharalyn put it, a form of “subtle psychic violence.” That phrase stopped me in my tracks—and I asked her to break it down for all of us. So I’m passing the pen to Sharalyn this week to share her POV from inside the beauty machine. I know you will love it 🥰.

💬 Guest Essay: Subtle Psychic Violence

By Sharalyn Orr

It’s a scene all women, particularly we women in midlife, are deeply familiar with. You meet up with a girlfriend for drinks, 🥂 and almost immediately settle into a very deep, very intimate conversation. You both leave with your proverbial “cups” full.

Last week, in just such a scenario, Jackie (you know her, she’s so great!) and I found ourselves talking about the challenges of navigating aging, motherhood and midlife in the age of smartphones, Zoom and Instagram. Neither of us could find the words to adequately describe days spent on Zoom and the constant companionship of a phone loaded with social media and 512 gigs of photos spanning 15 years of our lives.

Essentially, our aging is impossible to ignore.

The next day our conversation continued over text because I stumbled upon the perfect term to describe it – coined by Sophie Gilbert in The Atlantic and referenced by OG beauty editor Valerie Monroe in her Allure piece on Kris Jenner’s new face. (If you haven’t, you’ve got to read No 69-Year-Old Looks Like Kris Jenner IRL. Not Even Kris Jenner.)

With that lead up, I know you’re thinking, well, this has gotta be good… and it is.

Subtle psychic violence.
Let that sink in for a second.

It’s not a full-on attack, it’s not an overt, declared war. Rather, today’s omnipresent, converging digital and social worlds are a steady
drip
drip
drip
that slowly erode us and our mental health.

I think only if we can recognize what’s happening and label it can we then start to protect ourselves.

In addition to being a typical Millennial mom, I’m also an executive in the beauty industry and former consultant in the entertainment industry and former TV newscaster. I’ve spent the past 15 years connecting history, demographics and culture to decode generational dynamics and spent the last three-plus years specifically dissecting how generations intersect our society’s constantly changing beauty standards. As such, I’m hyper-aware of the many contributions of all these industries (and many others) on the subtle psychic violence that has permeated the feminine experience of Gen X and Millennials.

Just when Gen X began to show hints of aging, along came Photoshop to make sure that beauty standard bar became more unattainable than ever (let’s not forget this was the 90s, the height of heroin chic… let’s make those already impossibly thin models that much more unattainable).

With the rise of reality TV (e.g., The Bachelor, Big Brother, etc.) we were reminded it’s not just models and celebrities, now we must “measure up” to the proverbial “girl next door” (who BTW had full makeup, hair and wardrobe support).

Facebook seemed innocent enough but quickly came Instagram and then the filters and suddenly we’re “competing” with the carefully curated highlight reel of literally every woman we’ve ever/never met (and wanted to forget).

If we dared to have a public online persona, we were most assuredly pummeled with deeply misogynistic comments from the most below average men imaginable.

Science improved, Botox became mainstream, we Gen X and Millennial sisters shed the stigma of talking about tweakments and treatments (you do you, boo)… BUT… now everyone is trying to sell us Botox (our dentist, our urologist, our notary public, etc.)

Don’t get me started on AI.

When you stop and take stock, it is shocking to note the myriad ways our society conspires to make us acutely aware that our bodies, our faces, dare to do the very thing they are privileged to do—AGE.

Add in the reasons we subscribe to Jackie’s newsletter (hello perimenopause, can’t say you’re my favorite guest, but here we are, I guess you’re making yourself at home in my body) and it can be downright overwhelming.

So, let’s all start here.
Recognize and label what is happening:
Subtle psychic violence against our mental health and sense of self.
Then focus on rising above it.

I know that’s not easy. But it gets collectively easier when we readily identify what we see and what we feel as the subtle psychic violence that it is, and support each other as women… unabashedly.

For me, that immediate deep dive into meaningful conversation with a trusted girlfriend not only “fills my cup” but is the most surefire way to repair any chinks in my armor to ensure I am ready to protect my mental health and sense of self against the steady drip, drip, drip.

Thanks for repairing my chinks, Jackie. I’m ready to face another day. Hopefully this virtual chat will help all of you too.

Now get out there, label that shit subtle psychic violence, and help build someone else’s armor. 🏷️ 🗯️ 

The Tea: What's Trending in Women's Wellness & Culture 🍵 🛍️ 

🧬 Hormone Replacement Therapy Has Entered the Longevity Chat Room

I was honored to be featured in this new goop piece by Tatiana Boncompagni exploring whether we can—and should—start thinking about hormone therapy as a proactive longevity tool, not just a reactive fix.

When Tatiana and I spoke, I was struck by how much time she spent really trying to understand the nuance: timing, formulation, risk, and the very real gap between what women want and what most providers are offering. That care shows in the piece.

This is a conversation I’ve also explored in depth in recent newsletters which you can read here and here. More women are asking bigger, smarter questions earlier. And you deserve better answers. 🤔 (Goop)

🚹️ Menopause. Manopause. Why We’re Finally Talking About Both

This Forbes piece finally says it: hormonal shifts aren’t just a women’s issue—they’re a midlife reality for everyone. While menopause is having its moment, the article brings “manopause” (aka andropause, yes it’s a real thing) into the chat too, making the case for more honest, less cringe conversations across the gender divide.

It’s not just hot flashes and low T—it’s leadership style, energy levels, mood, motivation, and how we show up in the second half of life. Men and women both deserve better support for hormonal transitions. And better language to talk about them. 😰 (Forbes)

📉 Research Spotlight: Can Your Zip Code Predict Menopause?

A new JAMA study found that women living in highly disadvantaged neighborhoods hit menopause nearly two years earlier than those in low-vulnerability areas. The biggest drivers? Chronic stress tied to socioeconomic instability—like housing, transportation, and systemic inequity. Why does this matter? Earlier menopause means higher risk for heart disease, stroke, and mortality. Every year counts.

My take: Chronic stress is a hormone disruptor, and structural inequity is its amplifier.
We can’t talk about hormone therapy, longevity, or prevention without talking about equity. Because when access to care, support, and education is unequal, so is healthspan—and that should never depend on your zip code. 🏙️ 

😎☀️ Why Your Sunscreen Is Stuck in 1996
If sunscreen is your most toxic relationship, you’re not alone. A new article breaks down why so many American sunscreens feel like glue, smell like regret, and still don’t fully protect you. The culprit? A broken regulatory system. The last time the FDA approved a new UV filter was 1996, which means we’re decades behind Europe and Asia when it comes to effective, wearable sun protection.

While other countries are formulating light, elegant products with next-gen UVA-blocking filters, we’re stuck maxing out SPF and pretending it’s enough. It’s not. (Also: SPF 100 doesn’t mean you’re invincible.)

My take: The best sunscreen is the one you’ll actually use every day. Look for broad-spectrum, SPF 30–50, and bonus points for zinc or titanium. And please ignore anyone on TikTok saying it’s not necessary. 🧴 

The Group Chat Edit 📲 👯‍♂️ 

📘 To Listen: ‘Modern Love’: Gen X? More Like Gen Sex (The Daily Podcast)

I listened to this Modern Love episode on a walk to work and had to pause—multiple times. Mireille Silcoff goes deeper into her viral NYT piece, “Why Gen X Women Are Having the Best Sex,” and her words hit like truth serum.

Post-divorce, in her 50s, she describes a full-blown erotic resurgence (“a detonation of sex confetti”) and how Gen X energy—defiant, self-aware, a little feral—is fueling it.

Smart, raw, wildly validating. Highly recommend. 🔥 

🛍️ To Buy: These CBN Sleep Gummies 🛌 

These gummies have been showing up in our NYC clinic as a quiet win for midlife sleep. With 20mg of CBN (a non-psychoactive cannabinoid) and a microdose of melatonin, they seem to help my patients fall asleep faster—without the foggy aftermath.

No, they won’t solve your entire circadian crisis. But if you’ve been lying awake negotiating with your nervous system, they might just take the edge off—and give your 3 a.m. busy brain a break.

💊 To Try: MDMA for…Married People?

A couple takes MDMA with a Belgian life coach to reboot their relationship—and somehow, it works. Hilarious, raw, and weirdly persuasive. Not saying you should try it—but I’m also not not saying that. 😉