I was talking with my dental hygienist this week.

She’s about to be 59 and is just convincing her doctor to get her onto hormone therapy. She was positively gushing about it.

“I haven’t tried the estrogen much yet, but let me tell you…that progesterone at night, and I’m finally sleeping again!”

It hasn’t been an easy road for her. Tons of “arguing” and presenting her case to the physician. And I know so many women who have this same story.

And then, of course, there are the women who hopped on HRT because an influencer said it would be a miracle cure-all, and they don’t feel any better…

No matter which side of the fence you’re standing on at this moment, it just feels unfair. We shouldn’t have to beg, plead, or convince providers that symptoms are real and we deserve treatment.

But here we are.

My answer to all of this is to take matters into your own hands. I’ve never quite understood why we have to gatekeep and treat women like they’re children to be protected when it comes to wellness.

Run your own panels. Track your own data. And then put it all in one place so you can have a real, informed conversation with your provider.

The best way to start? Order your labs, and then order them again.

Here’s how 👇

Here’s what really happens when you take charge of your health. The questions you ask get sharper. And you become more difficult to dismiss. "What is wrong with me?" is an open-ended question, and open-ended questions get open-ended answers. "Here is what I have tracked since February, what do you make of it?" is a question that comes from a place of power, and questions like those get answered.

Here's a job I'd hand to AI this week, especially if you already started something and can't tell whether it's doing anything.

"I started [treatment/supplement/protocol] on [date]. I want to track whether anything is changing. Build me a simple weekly log: five things worth writing down each week for someone in perimenopause, one line each, plus a date column. Plain text I can paste into a note. Don't tell me whether it's working and don't interpret anything."

The instruction doing the work is the last one. You're not asking it to judge the treatment. You're asking it to build the instrument that lets you judge it, which is a different job and one it's good at.

It'll suggest things that don't matter to you. Cut them. Five lines you'll actually fill in beats fifteen you won't.

The European Society of Endocrinology published a full menopause clinical practice guideline in 2025, and it's open access.

This document is the clearest published stance I've found on hormone testing. It states (paraphrasing):

Biochemical testing isn't necessary to diagnose peri or menopause in women over 45. It also says plainly that a normal FSH doesn't rule out perimenopause.

In other words, your symptoms and your cycle history are the diagnosis. The labs are there to rule out the other things that may look like peri/menopause.

Most providers don't have time to read a ninety-page guideline. Neither do you. But you only need recommendation 1.4.

Read the guideline here →

I’ve been using Granola AI to help me organize my thoughts, spin up content ideas, and generally save me hours every day.

Granola is an AI notetaker. It listens as you talk it out, and afterward you get clean notes plus the ability to ask it questions about what was said.

Most people point it at work meetings. I'd point it at your next doctor’s appointment.

It always happens during the appointment. You’re nodding along, everything makes sense, and then on the drive home it starts to evaporate. You remember maybe a third of what was said, and the third you remember is rarely the part that mattered.

Be sure to ask permission first. "Do you mind if I record this so I don't lose it?" Most providers will say yes.

The best part? It’s free.

See how I use Granola here →

A special note for my fellow licensed professionals 📝

You’re on both sides of this conversation.

You’re tracking your own cycles. Getting your own blood draws. Trying to work out why midlife feels different for you, too.

And you’re doing all of it while you hold what every one of your patients brings to you.

That’s a lot to carry at once.

So give yourself the same space you’d give any woman who sits down in front of you. You know, the ones you tell to focus on self-care and rest…

Don’t be afraid to take your own advice.